paint_artwork_1I just can’t seem to enjoy playing Splatoon.

It has all the elements of a winning game, not to mention the sales and critical praise to back it up.

There’s amiibo support, likeable characters, a unique art style, accessibility (from a gameplay perspective) with the below-the-surface depth Nintendo games are known for, a robust online component… the list goes on.

Last night I tried for a fifth time to approach the game, first I decided to focus on the single player game and relax into the controls without the pressure of online competition.

But alas, after a completing a few of the missions and collecting enough eggs to buy some stuff to use in multiplayer- I still wasn’t feeling it.

For me there’s nothing that stands out as thrilling, innovative or even fun about Splatoon’s single player.

The graphics in single player mode are nothing special, and the lack of voice work, and other elements of the presentation (like the choppy-as-hell hub) seems downright lazy.

So I headed back to the multiplayer lobbies, determined to get excited and addicted, like the rest of the Wii U owning world.

The game does a pretty good job of matching you with people with similar skill levels, and I like how the battles are short and sharp.

I also like how strangely satisfying it is to swim through the ink when you’re in squid form.

It’s a shame that same satisfaction doesn’t carry over when you’re in human form.


I think what I most dislike about Splatoon is how disconnected I feel from my team mates.

I don’t have Wii U friends to regularly play with, so it’s mostly random worldwide players and me.

The lack of voice chat limits your ability to form a tactical understanding with your random team of internationals, and although the gamepad allows basic commands, darting glances to the gamepad from the television and back again really only works in theory.

Technically it’s teamwork, but realistically you’re running blind and I don’t like it.

I know I’m in the minority here. Most people, including many non-Nintendo fans, have really embraced Splatoon.

Nintendo are happy with the sales, and they continue to support the game with some great add on content which is not only keeping fans happy, but it’s keeping them playing.

I’m glad Nintendo has found success with a new IP, and no doubt Splatoon will be a popular franchise for them in the future. But I just can’t get into it. And I don’t think I ever will.

You can follow me on twitter: @rusytshell and Miiverse: zinger_AU

  • heavenshitman1

    Funny how everyone goes on about the lack of voice chat in Splatoon.
    Even I get tired of playing with apparent morons (granted some of these ppl could just be 7 year-olds playing),
    but voice in Splatoons short games and slightly abstract maps could add a brash confusion factor of everyone yelling and screaming at each other.

    In the end, Nintendo probably is actually right to omit that feature

    • Yeah I do understand your point, and the reasons behind perhaps why Nintendo are so reluctant to embrace voice chat in general.

      I think even being able to speak to and hear JUST your team mates, not the opposition, might have gone some way to stop the kind of abuse and ridiculousness a lot of other online games are plagued with.

      • heavenshitman1

        Possibly so, but (at least previously) u were strictly playing with randoms, and few ppl would get used to each others play style. To try and rig up game-plans in max 5 minute matches on maps with not a lot of overly descriptive and distinct locations in a game where each character is dying every 30 secs or less with the balance of victory during matches swaying between teams as quickly. Issuing any plausible voice command to anyone I’m sure would be futile 90% of the time.
        I live in South Australia, and despite how smooth Splatoons net code is, Im still drowned in lag n disconnections. I dont think i could afford to give up the band width.

        What Nintendo should perhaps do, is just offer voice chat as a selectable option pre-match, and if all members in a team agree to it, go for it.

        As for just hearing ur team mates for the sake of hearing them. Just phone call a friend to satisfy that need i guess